26 July 2011

Mean Girls

I love Mean Girls, the movie, but not real life Mean Girls.

What is this post about?

Well, it's about my mum, actually. I've come to realise that she's a late in life mean girl. There are the snide remarks about my step-fathers oldest child (who isn't my blood sister), then there is the pettiness that goes on throughout the day with my sisters and I, then there is the sheer fact that she always, and I mean fucking always, thinks she's right, even when she jumps into a conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with her and she puts her two cents in.

Honestly, it's all getting on my nerves and reminds me of why I left this house for 5 years in the first place......to get away from it all, and to make matters worse, her intensity as a mean girl is getting worse and worse the further she delves into her menopause stage.....I could bear with it, but I refuse.

Why couldn't she just be a late in life lesbian instead and save us all some heart ache?

25 July 2011


This past weekend was physically and mentally exhausting. It was as if I went mind travelling and never returned!

Well, the 23 marked a happy, but tragic day. My nephew turned 5 and thinks he's now grown enough to make his own brekkie and pudding.....as if. It also marked the day that the great, amazing Amy Winehouse passed. (My mate told me this, and I'm still upset about it). My mum was all like "get over it, you didn't even know her and it was her fault that this ocurred anyway..." When I tell you her head was about to roll................I digress.

Here is one of my many favourite Amy Winehouse song and video

Now, we manoeuvre over to Sunday. Nothing really occurred except the fact that I had to get away from my mum for a few because she was taking my emotions to new places that I rarely allow them to travel. So, to the farmer's market my sister and I went, to get some Frooties and some great pizza (which is still amazing to me, because I rarely eat pizza). Then back home.....dreading, just fucking dreading it because her menopause is making her even more moodier than before. The day creeps on slowly, so fucking slowly that I want to blow my brains out, but then I remembered that I don't have time to die at the moment, too much to accomplish in life and too many things I've yet to see.

Monday comes to a deafening roll, and nothing seems to be going right, my nephew thinks it's a good thing to use me as a punching bag, me, a young woman who can barely hold down food these days and am losing weight like a freightened chicken, and my mum is always needing me to do something in the house to help my sick step-father (as if she doesn't have any more children in the house), and I'm ready to keel the fuck over, like seriously. I want to become a recluse but in this damned house, that's impossible. Why can't I have a Room of Requirement in my house like they do at Hogwarts?! *le sigh*

Hopefully Tuesday jusqu'a (see that French, it means through, or to) Sunday gives me peace and serenity.....

19 July 2011

Ma vie.......en noir

D'abord.....mon premier message en francais!!!! Comment excitant!

Je suis à l'hôpital maintenant......je m'ennuie. Pourquoi suis-je à l'hôpital? Parce que mon beau-père est sur les soins palliatifs. Très triste. Je souhaite qu'il était a la maison, de cette façon, il serait plus confortable.

En ce moment.....ma mère est sur le bord du divan, je suis assis sur, écouter de la musique gospel. Je déteste le musique gospel dans des moments comme cela.

Et, cet hôpital ne me laisse pas lire mon Harry Potter fanfiction......s'il vous plaît me sauver!!!

17 July 2011


I decided, I'm going to start doing dedication post for certain blogs every two weeks.
Because they have helped me out so much!

So, my first dedication will be to leopardnotcheetah.blogspot.com

Not only is she like the best friend ever, she has some really neat and exciting everyday looks.....and she can help you find them for extremely good prices!

She also has recipes on her blog as well, great music, and overall fun things to read/look at, etc.

I would post pictures, but for fear that she may text/call me cussin my arse out, I'm not going to do that. Instead, you can just mosey on over to her blog.

15 July 2011

I'm drained!

I have had so much life altering things going on in my life.......it boggles the mind!
My step-dad got put on hospice care for the week to see if they can reverse his anxiety about sleeping at night, so that means that my mum and I should have very little trouble finding sleep, n'est pas?


Here it is, 2h13 EST, and I am wide the fuck awake. Yay me -__-.
Why can't I sleep?
Maybe it's because of the ups and downs of the past week.
I've had my share of excitement on both ends of the spectrum, and I only want to keep one end of that spectrum up and running because it's something beyond fantastic, if I do say so.

Sigh. This post was clearly a ramble to get my thoughts down a bit, maybe to try to calm my mind.....too bad my mind isn't calm yet.

Oh, and they want to teach gay history in Calif. schools. Yay! But let's see how this goes over with the residents first....(this is another blog for another day, clearly).

Goodnight/Good morning/Good afternoon!

11 July 2011

07 July 2011

Poem for my dying step-father

The Withering Bones

Paper thin skin

surrounds those old bones;

bones that have seen decades.

Decades of love, joy,

disappointment and sorrow.

Bones that have held fresh babes

in the smoldering sunlight.

Bones that have sat and watched

a performance unfold.

Bones that have yelled, screamed,

hollered and streaked.

Bones that are now sitting.

Bones that are now decaying.

Bones that are tired,

ready to give in,

not give up.

05 July 2011

My Thoughts on the Casey Anthony Case

I have been following this case since I heard about it from Nancy Grace a year or so ago. I have looked at the evidence, I have looked at Casey Anthony and how she conducted herself when interviewed, with and without her parents present, and it just doesn't add up.

She's guilty of what has happened to her daughter.

I don't study law, but I do dabble in it from time to time, and I can say that the prosecution was spot on, give or take a few errors. The defense attorney was horrible, however, and I, when watching the case, just knew she was going to be found guilty of all charges. No, she was found guilty of one charge, I believe (I had to turn the telly off at one point, I couldn't take it anymore) and that was for falsifying information.

My thought process is, you clearly see that the evidence is piling up, and against her. Her daughter was found in her car, so was chloroform, and she googled how to kill someone. Let's not forget the fact that she didn't say anything about poor Caylee's disappearance until her mother called to check in on them, 31 days later, yet, she was still found NOT GUILTY?!

How can that be?

Not to mention the fact that, instead of holding her head in some type of shame, because she knows she did it, she's smiling for the cameras. Yes, you can be excited that you JUST GOT AWAY WITH MURDER and all, but why not look remorseful that you will NEVER SEE YOUR DAUGHTER EVER AGAIN? Oh wait, she won't look remorseful because, well, she got away with it. Her daughter is no longer apart of her life,and that's what she really wanted, correct? She doesn't care that Caylee is long gone, she cares about herself, and that reminds me of a sociopath, and that is not a good thing.

She's a horrid person, and I say, since she has been proven innocent,to sterilize her, to further prevent that we would ever have to see her horrid ass on trail again.

Even though Caylee got no justice, thanks to the great legal system of Florida, Caylee will get street justice....that's how it always works when the criminal gets off.

I have never said this before, and I hope that this is the last time I will ever have to say this about another person or their character, but I hate Casey Anthony. I hate the fact that she got off, I hate the fact that she was talking about how much she loved her father and how much he's been their for her, but then turns around in court and says that he molested her, I hate the fact that she is showing no remorse, none whatsoever in the fact that her daughter is now dead, I hate her being.

Karma is a true bitch when it wants to be, and she'll get her comeuppance.

03 July 2011

Am I any less of a woman?

I realized that I have never had the pleasure of tell you all about my feelings of masculinity and femininity.

As we all know, when one thinks of masculinity, one thinks of a man with big, brooding muscles and a sense of responsibility and humour that makes you masculine.

Usually, also, when one thinks of femininity, one thinks of frilly, lush outfits and hair that hangs with the right precision. Add in the personality that a woman should have, and well, there you go, femininity.

Well, what about having a good balance of both?

I believe that every person should have a good balance of both, give or take a few lost/gained points in each category.

Am I less of a woman because I enjoy a Corona or whiskey every once in a while?
Am I less of a woman because weed may/may not entice me?
Am I more of a man because I love to mow the lawn?
Am I more of a man because I can fix rotors on a car and do various fix em up jobs around the house?

If anything, I am more of a hands on person, more of a human.

Does my vast knowledge of womanism/feminism make me more of a woman?
Does my wardrobe make me less of a man, what, with the frilly dresses and skirts?

You see, this is why ones femininity/masculinity cannot be defined, nor placed. It's not that simple or easy to try, either.

You cannot define my femininity, and I dare you to try.